When I go shopping for new shoes—be it of the tennis, dress, or open-toed sort—I usually consider a variety of factors: the look, the comfort, the durability, and definitely the price tag. But now I know there are two new important questions to consider:

  1. Will these shoes get me laid?
  2. Were these shoes made by people of the Jewish faith?

I guarantee that these thoughts had never crossed my mind while shoe shopping, and something tells me the answer is “no” for every pair of shoes I already own. (Sure I have a sexy pair of Vans, but I doubt they were manufactured by a guy named Vanstein.)

To remedy this problem, enter Shoes by Jews, a new product line that promises to make every man’s dreams come true. But don’t take my word for it. Check out their commercial.

Oh, dick jokes! How classy. Wait, it turns out they aren’t talking about phalluses! How classier.

If it weren’t such a coherently-written video, it would almost come off as a Saturday Night Live sketch. However, Shoes by Jews is a real website with a real product!

It’s a very strange marketing plan. Everyone knows sex sells, but do Jews? Perhaps the idea is so ridiculous, it has to work. Only time will tell.

I’d love to try a pair of these babies and see the world from three inches above, but the cost is out of my price range (their cheapest product is $132). If anyone happens to buy a pair, please comment below and tell us if the ladies have pounced on you like a cat in a canary mine.