ClickHole, the satirical website that is pretty much The Onion's answer to BuzzFeed, wants to remind us all that only some people are Jewish. The article begins:
You’re walking down the street. People are passing you on your left and right, and as you look each one of them in the eye, I know what you’re probably thinking: “He’s Jewish. She’s Jewish. All of the people I see are Jewish.” But if you think that, you’re wrong. Because the fact is, only some people are Jewish.
I know it's only a joke, but it's a strong wake up call. Living in Los Angeles, I keep forgetting that not everyone is Jewish. Maybe it's all the mezuzahs I see on business doors, or the banners for the Jewish Federation that decorate Ventura Boulevard. Perhaps it's the fact that I pass by more Chabad centers than I do Starbucks. But I highly appreciate ClickHole reminding me that not everyone is Jewish.
I guarantee that I'm not the only one with this problem, and I bet it's not a local issue either. How many people wander the streets of New York thinking that everyone around them is Jewish? Or in Chicago? Toronto? Hamburg? Zurich? I shudder to think.
No longer will I wander into a bagel shop and shout "Shalom, aifo ha'sharutim?" for I should not assume they understand what I am saying. No longer will I go up to a person and ask what time I should light the Shabbat candles this week just because they have a beard. And most certainly no longer will I feel the need to impress the mother of every girl I date, because they probably aren't expecting to me to be a doctor.
For not everyone is Jewish. As ClickHole puts it, "some people are Jewish, but some people are not Jewish."